Childhood Trauma
How Childhood Trauma Shows Up in Adults and How to Begin Healing
If you’ve ever wondered why certain things feel so hard; why you constantly strive for perfection, why anxiety follows you into quiet moments, or why you feel like a fraud no matter how much you achieve; it might be time to look at your story through a different lens.
That lens is childhood trauma. And yes, it might be part of your story; even if your childhood didn’t seem “bad enough” to qualify.
What Is Childhood Trauma?
Childhood trauma refers to deeply distressing or disturbing experiences that happen during your early years. This could include abuse, neglect, loss, witnessing violence, or growing up with a caregiver who was emotionally unavailable or in prison, unpredictable, or struggling with addiction or mental illness.
But it’s not just the “big” stuff. Trauma can also stem from experiences that felt overwhelming at the time but were never acknowledged; like being constantly criticised, having to grow up too fast, or not being allowed to express your emotions. Essentially, trauma isn’t just what happened to you, it’s also what didn’t happen that should have.
How Childhood Trauma Shows Up in Adulthood
Childhood trauma doesn’t stay in childhood. It often travels with us, silently shaping how we think, feel, and relate to the world.
Here are some common ways it can show up:
Perfectionism: When love or approval was conditional growing up, you might’ve learned that being “perfect” was the only way to stay safe or accepted. This can lead to relentless self-criticism and burnout.
Imposter syndrome: Even when you’re successful, you might feel like a fraud, terrified that people will find out you’re “not good enough.” This often stems from a lack of emotional validation in early life.
Anxiety: A nervous system shaped by unpredictability or emotional neglect often stays on high alert. You might constantly scan for danger, feel overwhelmed by decisions, or have trouble relaxing; even when nothing seems wrong.
Difficulty with boundaries: You may struggle to say no, put others’ needs before your own, or feel guilty for taking up space.
Trust and relationship struggles: You might fear abandonment, push people away before they can hurt you, or feel like you need to earn love.
These aren’t personality flaws; they’re survival responses. Your brain and body adapted to protect you. The good news is, healing is absolutely possible.
Getting Support for Childhood Trauma
Healing from childhood trauma isn’t about “fixing” yourself; it’s about gently reconnecting with the parts of you that were hurt and learning how to feel safe, seen, and supported.
Here’s what getting support can look like:
- Therapy – Working with a trauma-competent therapist can be a transformative step. Therapies like EMDR, somatic experiencing, and internal parts and inner child work can help you process trauma stored in the body and nervous system. A good therapist creates a safe space for you to explore your past without judgment, and begin to rewrite the narrative.
- Support groups or online communities – You’re not alone, and being in community with others who understand can be incredibly validating. Whether in person or online, sharing your story (at your own pace) can reduce shame and help you feel connected.
- Nervous system regulation – Because trauma lives in the body, healing often involves more than talk therapy. Mind-body practices like breath work, yoga, being in nature, grounding exercises, and even gentle movement can help regulate your nervous system and reduce anxiety.
- Self-education – Books, podcasts, and online resources about childhood trauma, attachment theory, perfectionism, anxiety, and imposter syndrome can offer insight and tools. Understanding your own patterns is a powerful first step.
- Building self-compassion – Healing often begins with learning to treat yourself with the kindness you didn’t receive as a child. This might mean allowing yourself to rest, forgiving yourself for coping in the only ways you knew how, and celebrating small wins.
What Healing Can Look Like
Healing from childhood trauma isn’t linear; it’s a journey. Some days will feel raw and emotional. Others will bring new clarity and lightness. Over time, things that once triggered anxiety, perfectionism or other feelings and responses begin to soften. You’ll start recognising your needs and honouring them. You’ll stop chasing worth and begin believing in your inherent value.
You may notice you’re less reactive in relationships, more grounded in your choices, and more able to tolerate imperfection and less pleasing toward others. You begin to feel safe in your body. Safe with yourself.
And maybe most importantly, you stop trying to earn love, and start allowing yourself to receive it.
You Deserve Support
If childhood trauma is part of your story, know this: it wasn’t your fault. You were just a child doing your best with what you had. And now, as an adult, you have the power to give yourself what you once needed—safety, compassion, understanding, and support.
You don’t have to navigate this alone. There are people and resources that can walk beside you. Healing is possible. And it starts with knowing: you are already worthy of love and peace.
Get In Touch With Us
If you’re ready to begin your healing journey, we’re here to support you with compassionate, trauma-competent therapy in Birmingham or online. Reach out today to connect and take your first step toward improving your life satisfaction.